Wednesday, December 31, 2008 ; 9:50 PMY
I just wanna remember that momentY
It's 9.50pm on the last day of the year and the world is counting down for 2008 and gg to welcome 2009.i'm staying at home alone this year not gg anywhr perhaps i'm getting old and afraid of noisy plc or mayb i'm trying to avoid noisy plc or mayb my gals r not wif me 29 tt's y i'm stay at home alone haha watever it is hmmm it dsnt matter.Nall sms me greeting i'm very happy everytime i received her smses and i cried when i realise tt hw thougthful she is.i really missed her i'm not sure whether she knw or not.Lately i notice my health wasnt really well and im so scared tt i mite just die without seeing her get married and Zen not having a bf.i wish i'l die 1st den alan so tt they dnt hv to take care of me,i dnt want to be a burden to them.God pls forgive me for silly decision to divorce their dad and let my children suffer for my mistake if i cn turn back time i will tolerate watever alan did and make my childrens life happier.i'm so sorry to my 2 dear baby.spoke to alan yesterday and manage to gv him a gd lecture hope tt he cn spend more quality time wif nall n zen alone without jenny's presence i knw this is wat nall wanted so much.i just hope they will be more close to thier dad cos i believed alan missed their company too.i pray for alan health get better each day.Happy new year. Wednesday, December 17, 2008 ; 12:49 AMY
I just wanna remember that momentY
So crazy over robert pattinson been watching twilight over the internet for 2 nights the movie is very romantic cant wait for part 2 and 3 to screen.im so...........in luv with the movie,he's so gorgoers.how i wish in real life there's this kinda things will happen its just so romantic,im willing die if my bf is such a handsome vampire man.its been a long time since i broke off with david,think 8 mths already and till now im not seeing anyone.at times im really desperate to look for luv but i knw its not gg to happen to me anymore cos my time is up im getting older and older and that im not willing to go to socialize think chances is very slim,sigh......why im i being like that im not that kinda of person before am i getting old and boring,i dont knw maybe yes.but anyway i'l try my luck but not hopeful hahaha.hope to bump into a guy like the vampire edward.
Monday, December 15, 2008 ; 10:39 PMY
I just wanna remember that momentY
Back from bali about a week,didn't enjoy the trip much will not go back in future.I'v got a bad headache today and went for tiuna i think its due to my veins are all tied up like knots.i'm worried that it might be tumor cos there are some similiar symtomps but i really hope its not what i think it is.met cindy my long time friend had lunch and coffee chat for awhile.think its about time i start meeting my friends and not always staying at home after work.i really need to expand my social life .Zen is growing to young adult and one day she will marry and leave me and i'll be all alone.Nall's already moved out and staying with her bf and i really dont wanna be a burden to either one of them.i knew i'm selfish always throwing all the responsibility to zen but what can i do,nall's always out and i'm so scared that she wont want to take care of me when i'm old.i dont know really i just wanna live happily and hope that i can see both my girls find thier happiness and have a blissfull marriage and thats all i'm wishing.all the god in heaven pls give my two princess your blessings and always keep them safe.